Tales From a Tattooed Teacher

Switched to a new site!

2010-09-29T11:51:00.000-07:00

Start folowing me at jennymoment.tumblr.com!

Summer Sweat

2010-07-27T13:51:00.000-07:00

Weeks 23-26
I have been teaching summer school which is always fun during your summer vacation (not really). It, in truth, was not that bad. It lasted only a few weeks and I worked Monday-Thursday from 7:30-1:00. I had a planning period as well, I read "Gone With The Wind" for most of that time or registered for baby stuff online. I'm done now and have made a few extra bucks for when the baby comes and all extra money we have will be sucked away into diapers and baby product.

We also have done the big registry thing! Matt and I went to Target in early July to register for some baby stuff. Our good friend (and mom) Gwyn came with us to help with all the things that you have no idea you need. You know that scary aisle with breast pumps and a gazillion bottles, well Gwyn helped with that aisle. I would recommend that every new mom take a mom friend with them to register, because they have the scoop on new products and what works. Matt was utterly bored, for which I don't blame him, but I did let him use the gun, the only joy he gets from doing a registry. We decided NOT to register at Babies 'R' Us because frankly I would probably go into early labor from stress if I had to walk in there. We are registered on Myregistry.com which is an amazing website where you can pick from any site and compile a registry. So we have some pretty amazing stuff on there from, Wu Tang onsies to a Phil and Ted's stroller (please someone buy us the stroller). So done and done.

I went for my first OB appointment since mid-May and the jump in weight was a bit unsettling. I did have to remember that it had been quite a long time and all the trail mix and ice cream would catch up at some point. I saw the actual doctor this time as one of the midwives left the practice in June. It has been a bitch to get an appointment so I settled on the doc who I had only seen once. Upon seeing him again I decided I really liked him and think he is a very funny man. He set my mind a bit more at ease with all the neck fold stuff and let me know that the doctor will look at the baby's heart during the next ultra sound and if it looks good we are a-ok. I have also been having some MAJOR back and under boob pain which some friends say might be heartburn. He told me to take Tums, but they still haven't seemed to help as of yet. I think I might have to try Zantac and see if that makes a difference.

Last but not least how could I not say something about this damn heat. For all of you who are complaining about it being hot you have nothing on us city dwellers who have to endure the dank stale city air. It has been the hottest summer in Richmond since I have lived here and it's not even August yet, which is our most sweltering month. Matt and I took a walk into Carytown the other day (on our Anniversary) to get some guitar strings and a fan. I thought he would have to carry me home. My walk has tranformed to a waddle and it's pretty slow going for this pregs lady. Most days I just want to stay inside and read, "Gone With The Wind" and eat popsicles.

The baby has started moving ALOT. So all that complaining I was doing in earlier posts about the baby not moving I take back. The other night Matt and I sat for an hour just watching my tummy move all around. I swear the baby is moshing. Matt also felt the baby move for the first time on his Birthday, when he was laying his head on my tummy and the baby kicked him in the face a few times. With all that moving I started having Braxton Hicks which are non labor contractions. They feel really weird and your whole tummy hardens for a few seconds and then relaxes. I had read that it was sometimes rare for first time moms to get them and that there shouldn't be more than 4 in an hour. So I freaked a bit when I read this and decided to drink more water to see if that would help. I'll keep you posted.

Matt celebrated his 26th birthday at Strange Matter with burgers and good friends. We went to Florida as well for Matt's Grandpa's 90th Birthday but that's a whole other blog entry.

Hiccup

2010-07-03T08:18:00.000-07:00

Week 21 and 22

Week 21 was my final week of school, thank the Lord! I was very ready to be finished. It just became a bit too much dealing with behavior problems of my little darlings and my temper became very short. During my last week my belly finally REALLY popped and I started looking visibly pregnant and not like I had eaten too many Country Style Doughnuts (which may be the case as well). The belly button is still intact though and I’m wondering if it will ever pop. Maybe I will be the 10% of moms whose belly button doesn’t pop. I also started feeling some back pain during the week and it also extends to the front of my body right under my rib cage. My posture I know is the main culprit of this. I really wish my mother would have made me sit up straighter as a child. Trying to correct my posture over the past 2 years as an adult has been a difficult task. I have to do a lot of laying on my back flat to make the pain go away. Yoga is in the near future.

Week 22 I had my next ultrasound scheduled on Tuesday. My parents had arrived on Friday and were spending time with us for the upcoming event on Tuesday. We were able to spend Father’s Day together, which I don’t think I have been able to do for about 10 years. On Tuesday morning we went to the hospital to find out I made a mistake and put the wrong day in my phone. We had missed the appointment on Monday but they were nice enough to fit us in a few hours later. The ultrasound was awesome and the tech even flipped the magic switch and showed us the 4-D view, which looked like Ghotstbusters II the Vigo portrait when he's trying to escape. The picture is insane though as you can see details of the baby lips, nose, eyes, which I feel he looks like Matt. We even got the money shot of his very *cough boy parts. So he is a he!!! Everything went very smoothly until the doctor came in and gave us news we were never really ready to hear. We have our first hiccup in the pregnancy. The doctor measured the baby’s neck fold and said it was a bit large (a possible sign of downs) which we thought we were in the clear for. Our chances are now 1 in 500 instead of 1 in 10,000 which is a bit disconcerting. He seemed not that concerned but asked us to come back in 8 weeks to check and see if anything has changed. It was also hard for him to check the heart because the baby was sleeping on his tummy and butt in the air (sleeps like his mom). So we go back then to see. Matt isn’t worried as he thinks the baby just has a fat neck like him. I had a bit of a breakdown over the weekend but am feeling better about things. It’s just very hard to find things like this out and not worry for 8 weeks. I did get to go to the beach over the weekend and decompress and hang out with Kathy. We literally did nothing for 4 days which felt great. I now have to keep it posi for the next few weeks!

Baby Movin' Baby Movin'

2010-06-15T09:37:00.000-07:00

Week 18-20

These weeks have all seemed to blend together over the past 3 weeks. The biggest event had to have been that one of my students came to stay with us for a week. I’m sure everyone thought we were crazy for taking her in, but we did what had to be done. It was an emotional rollercoaster and we are still working things out with the family. I wish I could say I was happy with the outcome but it’s just not time for us to raise a tween.

Around week 19 I felt the baby move for the first time. I was laying in bad dozing off and felt the, so-called flutters. Since then the baby seems to do summersaults in my belly. I drank coffee the other week and the baby freaked out. I feel him move at certain times of the day and I have been told this could be his sleeping patterns. Mainly the moving is at 10:00 am and 10:00pm that I can tell for sure.

Sleeping is rough that’s all I will say.

It’s almost the end of the school year and I can’t wait to be done. I have recently started not feeling very safe in the school. I seem to walk around with my hand over my tummy dodging kids running through the halls. The fights have been plenty abundant in which I just quietly retreat to my room. At this point I will face push a kid.

K+B

2010-05-27T11:57:00.000-07:00

My good friend kathy is getting hitched to my friend Billy this summer. We had a bridal shower for Kathy this past weekend and I made her this nifty embroidery piece. I'm trying to sew a bit more and with SOL's coming up I want to start my Richmond embroidery project.

before after

Twiddling My Thumbs

2010-05-26T20:05:00.000-07:00

So here's the update for weeks 16 and 17.

I had my big recital at the Landmark Theater in Richmond. It was very successful because I didn't fall falt on my face when I did my buffalo turn (this is a tricky move for a pregnant lady). I was pretty freaked out about my dance grade tights as they held in my tummy poor baby was all sucked in. Matt and His mom Lisa came to the show as it was freaking expensive and didn't want to burden friends with the cost. If you didn't see the video it's in the post below. I really enjoyed tap this year and want to continue. I still day dream of a solo tap number someday....

I had an appointment during week 17 with the midwife. This was just a routine checkup as we haven't seen the midwives since week 8. She talked to us about dulas and The Bradley Method which is a cool 12 week class about natural childbirth. Yes, that's right I'm trying to go natural. I think hiring a dula will be really great for Matt as I feel he may get pretty freaked out if they start wheeling out hospital equiptment. The most wonderful part was that Lisa and Sunie (Matt's sister) were there to hear the heartbeat. We did find out that the midwife Nicole that we have seen the past two times will be leaving the practice. Matt and I were pretting bummed as we were secretly hoping she would be the one to deliver our baby. We showed the girls the maternity ward and I started to get pretty excited and terrified about the whole labor thing.

So my belly is getting bigger which was a direct result from all those pains the previous week. But I still haven't felt baby. I know I'm just getting anxious but I can't wait to feel all those little flutters everyone talks about. I have been sitting really still on the couch after I eat dinner just waiting. No action yet. Matt has even been talking to the baby doing mosh call outs. I'll keep my fingers crossed for next week.

One thing I forgot to mention weeks ago was the choice that Matt and I made for God Parents. We had been thinking and praying about who it should be for a few weeks and one couple kept coming up in conversation. We had some critera of course.
1. Must live alti-lifestyle.
2. Must want/like kids.
3. Must be married couple.
4. Must like Richmond alot.
5. Must go to church.

So in our search we decided to ask our friends Tess and Dan. In the event that Matt and I die in a freak plane crash we know that our kid will be in good hands. I guess we will have to cut down on all of our weekend solo plane trips. So Tess and Dan will be put in our will (yes, we are having a will made weird). Being a grown up is strange sometimes.

My Tap Recital!

2010-05-20T16:50:00.000-07:00

From right to left I'm the second one.

I Need This!

2010-05-20T08:22:00.000-07:00

Just Sayin....

Planes, cards, and the F Bomb

2010-05-14T11:15:00.000-07:00

And then there was week 15.

I was hit this week by pregnancy aches and pains. I woke up Wednesday morning feeling like a truck ran over my legs numerous times. I freaked out most of the morning, thinking something was very wrong with the baby or me. Lots of other teachers told me it was pressure on my body from the baby growing. I still needed a second opinion so I called my trusty friend Jennifer, who recently gave birth. She told me it was my ligaments loosening up, getting me ready to give birth. It kind of felt like growing pains (if you can remember them) when you were a kid. I remember waking in the middle of the night crying because they were so bad. This felt similar except my...uhhhh...pelvic area was feeling that way too. So I felt a bit more at ease knowing it was normal and started sleeping with a pillow in between my legs at night.

I celebrated my first Mother’s Day, which was joyous! I really felt blessed as I was gifted by husband and family. I can now afford to buy some new clothes and a body pillow. The first Mother’s Day item I received was a card from one of Matt’s friends who is incarcerated in Petersburg, VA. Derrick sent a Mother’s Day card to me that he had made. It choked me up that he even thought of me.

Matt and I flew home to Michigan for the Mother’s Day weekend. We left at the butt crack of dawn on Saturday morning to fly into Detroit. We spent some quality time with Ma and Pa and met the Ball's new girlfriend Jessica who is precious. In all it was an excellent trip, until the flight home. Upon arriving at the airport, Matt and I checked in and found that we were not sitting together on the plane. This pissed me off greatly and we all know that we shouldn’t piss off a pregnant woman. I asked at the gate if there was anything they could do so we could sit together. They said the flight was full (and I even played the pregnancy card!) So we boarded and found that we both had middle seats, needless to say no one was willing to move when we asked. This put me over the edge and forced me to storm to my seat in-between two men. As I stormed, I gave the flight attendant the look of death as tears formed in my eyes. I sat “in the middle” sobbing and apologizing to the man next to me who smelled like he just downed a bottle of Jack before boarding. We ended up leaving Detroit 20 minutes late for no apparent reason. Before landing in Charlotte the, 20 something sitting next to me asked what time it was. We soon found out that we had 15 minutes to make our connection. Matt and I tried to push off the plane as fast as we could and proceeded to run to our gate on the other side of the airport. As we were running up, the gate agent was closing the door. Did I mention that Matt had a final that night? In my fury from the day, I laid into her. I even started pounding my hand on the counter. It was like a devil woman took me over. I even told her that I was pregnant and that she shouldn’t piss me off. I asked her how my husband was going to take his final and she said she didn’t know. Then there it was, “MOTHER FUCKER” came right out of my mouth. I then stormed off to the bathroom and cried. Everything ended up o.k. as we got on a later flight and Matt was able to make-up his final later in the week.

Next week I will have my dance recital video up!

BRAINS!!!!

2010-05-07T10:17:00.000-07:00

I promised myself that I wouldn’t miss a week so I am compiling weeks 13 and 14 together. I know, totally lame, but life is busy.

The best past of the past few weeks been the ultrasound during week 13. It was amazing and super in-depth. Matt and I had decided to do the Downs screening and the ultrasound was the final step. We got our results at the doc that day and they were super good. Our chances of having a baby with downs is 1<10,000 chance. Woot woot! So we were stoked about those odds. During the ultrasound, we got to see every bit of the baby, which was amazing. The BRAINS (in zombie voice), heart, feets, arms and huge heed. We even got to see the *cough* boy parts. The tech was almost sure we were having a boy. I am soooooo very excited about this. Mostly because I want a little Matt<3

I have finally gotten my energy back, which is such a relief. I felt pretty good in week 14 to the point where I have been doing some mega-nesting. I began putting things in the soon-to-be nursery during the weekend. I have also started an online registry. I can’t even tell you about how cute some of the stuff is! See above.

It’s really hard to resist putting every little thing on it. We have been really blessed with friends that have given us big-ticket items to use. We already have a bassinet, stroller, newborn car seat, cribs and like 16 offers for diaper genies. I guess everyone hates those things.

School is school but people have been super supportive, looking out for me. I was stupidly in a display case this week setting up and breaking down art. Everyone and their mom was stopping and telling me to "get outta there" and that I shouldn’t be doing that. I’ve gotta remember not to do stupid things.

I heart popsicles

2010-04-21T08:07:00.000-07:00

Here is week 12 in a nutshell:

I am still tired in the afternoon.

I have been having lots of problems sleeping at night.

The acne is going away. WOO HOO!!!

I have been told more than once that I’m glowing, although I’m still not sure what it means.

I am one gassy lassie.

I have consumed copious amounts of bomb pops.

My torso resembles an egg shape.

There was a big fight in front of me last week and I refrained from breaking it up.

I am still patiently waiting to feel the baby.

Matt had to prick my finger for the Downs screening and it sucked massively. I broke out in sweats and shook.

I am insanely thirsty.

I actually had some energy to do housework on Saturday.

We made plans to go to Michigan in a few weeks and I plan on eating TONS of Mexican food.

Anyone want to buy a Yetti?

2010-04-16T09:21:00.000-07:00

Famous Collector in England sells his precious taxidermy goods at an auction. Among them are a Yetti, a unicorn and a winged cat. I really want the extended wiener dog....

It's the face trust me!

2010-04-14T11:38:00.000-07:00

I’m a bit late on week 11 because I was too busy chillaxin’!!!

This past week was my spring break, which I must say, was a long time coming and well deserved.

Matt went out of town for a few days to hang in Florida, but my moms and brother, “The Ball”, stayed with me while he was away. On Easter, I felt a bit sick as I waited too long to eat. I hovered above the can as everyone enjoyed dinner downstairs. I’m still bitter.

Let talk about the acne. I have been blessed with some pretty good skin. I rarely ever get zits and when I do I feel like it ruins my life. As of late, I have broken out like a champ. It’s everywhere and I don’t know how to deal. I wash my face like 324753274 times a day and nothing helps. I mean I even have backne uggggg.

The most exciting part of the week was the ultrasound. Matt and I went on Thursday and heard the heartbeat and got pictures of what looks like a small alien. I keep showing people and saying "look here’s the face. You see it right?" And they lie and say "yes." The best part was the baby moving when the doctor was doing the ultrasound. It was funny to see it’s little arms and legs freak out and squirm all over. I know everything is real now and it’s a good feeling.

Matt and I have decided to do the Down’s testing. It was something that we were not going to do at first because I’m not at high risk, but the doctor made a good point. He told us that we didn’t want to find out in the delivery room, which made sense. So, on the 14th, I have to prick my finger and send it into a lab. On the 22nd I go for another ultrasound. They will use my blood results and measure the neck or something like that. Apparently they can tell something from necks and blood. Science.

After we decided to do the testing I had my first babyish nightmare. I dreamed I was in my classroom, waiting at the door, and a whole bunch of older high school students approached. All of the students had Downs Syndrome and a fight broke out that pushed into my room. I got caught up in the fight, as the kids are, well, super strong. I was yelling out into the hall for help and that I was pregnant. And then I woke up.

Week 11 in a nutshell.

I HATE MINI SKIRTS!

2010-04-01T08:59:00.000-07:00

Guys! I have only thrown up once this week, just once! Maybe it’s the end….

My ultrasound on Tuesday was rescheduled to the 8th which I was a bit bummed about as I wanted to have some pictures to show my family and Matt’s family over the break.

I do feel like things are tapering off a bit as far as nausea and fatigue. I no longer drag home after a day of work and sleep till 6pm.

Food is still eh. I decided to have ice cream for dinner the other night. Yes, I know it was a bad idea and learned my lesson as I’m a bit lactose intolerant. I was awoken during the night with what my kids call “the bubbles” which is never a good sign. At least it took care of all the constipation I was having.

I officially have a belly. Not sure if I should yet but I do and my clothing is becoming a problem. I had a heinous trip to Target yesterday to try to find suitable skirts. Everything is mini and I wanted to beat people over the head. It was depressing seeing all the Jean Paul Goutier stuff and the cute Liberty line. I’m already not comfortable with my body and seeing it growing is very frustrating. I know I’m producing life but it’s really hard seeing your body growing and changing and all I can think about is how am I going to lose all this later on. I need to talk to my shrink about that one.

My mother and brother will be in town this weekend and I’m excited to be pampered by my mom a bit. I’m sure we will do baby shopping and look for a crib. I still haven’t bought anything for the baby yet. I would like to buy something special what should it be????

To the Bathroom!

2010-03-26T09:07:00.000-07:00

Week 9 and all I can ask is when will the morning sickness end!!!! It went from feeling a bit nauseated during the day to full blown puking every morning and sometimes while at school. All I have to do is walk out into the hall and the teacher next door knows I’ve gotta go. It has also been very difficult finding places to throw up where kids are not listening to you vom your guts out. The last thing I want is one of my little darlings telling all his/her friends “man Ms. Moment vomin’ in the bathroom, dead!”

Food is progressively getting better. I’m still not able to eat everything I typically like but that’s ok. I have started to get very hungry at normal meal times, like ravenous hungry. Last week I almost tore my principals head off 2 days in a row because there was a delay in mealtime. I’m sure I looked rude with my head down while she was talking but it was better than me leaping across everyone and trying to devour all the food. On Friday night we went out for Kathy’s birthday. I felt a bit fearful about eating or smelling PF Chang’s food and I ended up being ok. I think a week before it would have been bad news.

I would like to say that there have been changes in my energy level but alas there have not. I still like to sit at my desk, a lot I mean a real lot, like all day. I feel like the worst teacher ever. I’m that teacher that makes the kids come to me with a question. I think I’ll work on wheeling my chair around the room. I’m really going to try to make more of an effort to take walks in the afternoon this next week.

Let’s just talk about my body for a sec. I have gained a few pounds but not many and what I have gained has gone directly to my tummy. I wish I had the guts to take the bare belly pictures but I don’t and I really can’t think about my bloated belly right now. My clothes are still fitting me fine (minus the bra which will be replaced at months end) but I can see them not doing so in a few short weeks.

Last week my midwife told me to take a Omega 3 vitamin. I went to trader Joe’s (which have great Per-natal vitamins) to get my fatty acids on. For some reason I opted to get the gummy vitamins, you know the ones that 5 year-olds take. I only saw that they were in the shapes of sea creatures and didn’t think of why they looked like sea creatures. Well I found that out when I got home as they tasted like fish. I forgot about the fish oil. So very funny Trader Joe’s with your sea shaped fish tasting gummies!

I am convinced I’m having a girl. A boy would not be putting me through this hell of morning sickness. I’m giving in and starting to believe the ol’ wives tales about girls making you more prone to morning sickness. I don’t want a girl as a first but I would be excited about all the cute little pink shit.

Bun in the Oven

2010-03-17T07:40:00.000-07:00

So I am officially announcing that I am with child. I am 8 weeks along in my pregnancy and am feeling all of the first trimester joys.

Matt and I found out on February 20th that I had a little peanut growing inside me. We had been trying for 2 months (I know it happened fast) and after 10 pee sticks we finally went to Planned Parenthood on a Saturday morning. They tested me and told me even a faint line is a positive one. So on that Saturday we were the happiest couple in Planned Parenthood.

The next few weeks there came lots of cramping and growing. Week 5 I had to drink lot's of water to keep the cramps away as it felt like I was constantly going to start my period.

Week 6 brought fatigue. I have never been so tired in my whole life! I can't stress that enough to people these days. I come home everyday and take a nap and then eat dinner a bit of T.V. and it is back to bed. I have no life in the afternoon anymore as I live for sleep.

Week 7 the sickness hit. I had been feeling a bit nauseated during the day since I was 3 weeks along. Now it was full force with the need for saltines and ginger ale as my daily diet. I threw-up for the first time this past Friday. I was sitting at my desk chair (which I do a lot of as of late) and started getting the saliva. I walked next door to get my teacher friend, and told her it was on. I went to the clinic and did my business and let me tell you that my lucky charms were not so magically delicious coming up. The hardest part now is making sure everyone and their mom does not find out at school. I have told a few good friends but now I'm sure it's spreading like wildfire.

Week 8 I had my first midwife visit yesterday. Matt and I took a half-day and met with a midwife group at St. Francis who have been recommended from a bunch of friends. I always knew I wanted to go with a midwife, as I don't like the idea of a baby catcher or the higher risks of a c-section. Nicole was great and asked lot's of questions about both of our medical histories and put some of our anxieties at ease. There was one pressing issue of an antidepressant that I have been on for almost a year. The Lexapro was a huge concern for us as we don't want to harm the baby, duh! We were told that it would be fine as I'm on a really low dose anyway. The only concern is with breast-feeding in which I may have to change drugs. The WORST part of the appointment was the blood draw. They took 9 vials, which was insane. I thought I would run out of blood and I did kind of near the end. As soon as she pulled the needle out I felt woozy which is not typical of me. I had to ask for a juice or I may have hit the floor.

The other part to week 8 is the nausea is still there in the early morning especially. It's been like clockwork as I use my nasal spray (I know nerdy, but I have bad allergies) and am just about the brush my teeth and there is. Truth is I feel way better when I vom and am able to go about the day with a little less nausea.

Food aversions have been a big deal too. I lived on mac and cheese last week, which is gross but true. I eat when I can which is not very often. I keep crackers close by and fruit but nothing citrus, because I will vom. It's weird turning my nose up to all my favorite foods. I will walk to the pantry now and just stare at everything as nothing looks or smells good. Tacos were good last night but tomorrow I may want to puke just looking at them on T.V.

The final thing is the boobs (screeching record sound). We all know that I am cough* well endowed and it's always been a huge joke about me getting pregs and being able to feed everyone's children. Well friends these things are getting bigger to the point of wanting to wear a sports bra at all times. Matt made a comment the other night that I should paint myself blue and get some devil horns and a tail as I look like I should be in a White Zombie video. I just stared at him in unbelief.

I'm due October 25th so I'm keeping my fingers crossed that it will be a Halloween baby. Matt doesn’t want a Halloween baby because that's "whitchy."

2010-03-03T10:38:00.000-08:00

This Past weekend we moved out of the Little yellow House that we have been living in for the past 3 years. We moved to the Museum District to a place with way more room like 500 sq. feet more room. As we have packed our "crap" over the past month my husband and I reminisced about all the memorable moments that were had in the house. We had many, many, many roommates at 2610. After the first few we learned to love having a roommate and enjoyed the experience fully.

Our Final roommate Jake at the Moment x-mas party

Neighbors at the house were always a gamble. We started off having some pretty sketchy ones who were not big fans of us or our barking weiner dog. One night we noticed an ambulance outside the house. We walked out to see a gurney and a ZIPPED up bag on the gurney. We finally lucked out and had some really cool people move in next door. These were the type of people that you could ask for a cup of sugar. I like that we had that.

Ian and Wendy our final neighbors

Lastly the best part about the house were the parties. I can't even begin to count the number of times we entertained at that place. From the 4th of July party where Billy almost blew himself up to Matt Mitzvah. It was always a wicked good time at the Moment Mansion.

Preparing for the final Moment Party

It was a good run little yellow house we will miss you!!!

I want to clarify...

2010-02-26T09:05:00.000-08:00

This makes no sense to me:

Good Morning,

I want to clarify a few things about the door decorations as this is my first year. I don't have a homeroom of my own but I collaborate with Ms. X in for 1st and 2nd Period. Can the door have anything about dealing with art, music, or theatre.

Who is doing the clarifying? Apparently not me.

Sure, Sure

2010-02-19T07:42:00.000-08:00

Questions about Youth Art Month from our school nurse and my responses.
Let me also tell you that this woman put white out on her lips because she said it had the same chemicals in it as chap stick.

1= can we buy any of the art: It will be up to you to ask the student we are not holding a formal sale.
2= how much are the hoodies?: Not sure yet...Maybe around 25.
3=I would like to purchase clay art if possible/ fundraiser: Again this would be up to you to ask students.
4=can we bring our own shirts to be tie dyed: The tie dye is only for students. We will not be dyeing teachers shirts this year. You are more than welcome to come and observe the dyeing process though.

Fight!!!!!

2010-02-13T20:01:00.000-08:00

Yesterday I had my first fight in my classroom. This really bummed me out as I have been working at one of the roughest schools in the area for the past 3 years and never had a fight in my room. The very WORST part was that it was a boy/girl fight that started over a broken red carnation and ended up with a split lip, weave on my floor, and lot's of crying. So here are the remnants of the crime scene.

Trash in my school parking lot

2010-01-21T09:08:00.000-08:00

Amen....

Apparently My Womb is Leaping?

2010-01-12T13:13:00.000-08:00

Why do I want one of these?

IT BEATS THE HELL OUT OF ME!
But I do. I am ready to have a baby and have been for a bit of time now.

My husband and I spent our Christmas vacation in Florida this year with my in-laws. It was exciting to be down there for Christmas as we told my in-laws that we were trying to have children. Well let's just say they were very enthusiastic and this started a series of events over the break that, well made my womb jump as my mom-in-law would say.

After the settling in the first few days I was called to the parent palace (the second floor of the house which is where the rents reside). I was then given my husbands christening outfit to which my mother-in-law laid her hand on my tummy (yes, I still say tummy) and asked if my womb was jumping. To which I replied, sure? My husband just hung his head in shame? embarrassment? who knows what was running through his mind.

Our next event occurred on Christmas Eve at grandmas house for the family gift exchange. Everyone was to buy a $10 gift to exchange. To everyone's surprise my mother-in-law bought a Pooh Bear baby blanket set with me in mind. Wait did I mention my husbands pregnant cousin was in the room? I ended up taking a rice cooker home.

Our final episode was on Christmas Eve night when I was warned that there was baby powder in my bed. I thought this could be a joke but no there was powder in our bed and on the Christmas tree in our room.

Some daughter-in-laws would be livid by all the shenanigans but I love my mother-in-law and her sense of humor.

I Won!

2009-12-31T09:44:00.000-08:00

Prize 1 goes to Ms. Moment!

Essie Coral Reef, Essie Body Language, and Nic's Sticks by OPI in Baby Go Bye-Bye

Thanks to The Daily Nail for this awesome prize! If you haven't checked out this blog do so now. It's a really hip lady from Vegas who is doing 365 days of nails. It blows my mind what she is doing.

Mother F'ing Basketball

2009-12-03T17:45:00.000-08:00

Some kid in a classroom next to me answered all the questions on his paper by using f'ing in each answer. All I have to say is that the kid is awesome and a bad kid!

Graffiti

2009-11-11T16:05:00.000-08:00

My husband and I work at the same school. Many people look at me like I'm crazy when I tell them this. It really isn't that big of a deal to us and we don't get sick of each other that easily. The situation works out for us very well. I don't really see him that much during the day. Lunch is the only time usually or when he comes to my class room in search of a dollar for a coke. The benefits are abundant as far as saving gas money and having someone to ride with you to work and complain about the same things with. In other words he feels my pain when an administrator isn't doing jack, or we laugh when there is something annoying that another teacher does.

He has I can safely say the hardest job in the school. He sits in his Harry Potter type room underneath the stairs all day long with the school criminals. He is know as the school disciplinarian for in-school suspension. Kids do not like him very much and he does not like the kids very much, so all works out in the end. His room consists of little cubby spaces with chairs at each one. In these spaces there's some very colorful graffiti. Things like "fuck (husbands name)" and "north side rule." Nothing is spelled correctly and there is always an "s" missing.

A short time ago my husband told me the children started writing graffiti about me. At first I was upset as I thought most students in school liked me. Then I realized their game.... they were trying to piss my husband off by writing graffiti about me. GENIUS!!! this seemed more fun to me then hurtful. I decided to snap a picture today of one of my favorites.

I know it may be hard to see but it says Ms. (my last name) is ugly and then above it says DUH. The DUH has to be my favorite part. I kind of want to go in and start writing things about myself to provoke further graffiti. Is that weird? I hope to have more pictures in the future but for now I'll bask in my ugliness.

Is that a.....

2009-10-19T15:57:00.000-07:00

As an art teacher you see many interesting drawings. On Monday's we have a short periods and I see all of my classes. This is a very short time to get out projects and paint supplies. So instead I do creative drawing. Creative drawing is a doodle on a piece of paper in which I allow the children to use their creativity to make the doodle into something. Some of the kids love it, some hate it. In this I get some very interesting art. here are the top 3:

1. Faces

2. Designs

3. Penises

Let's discuss the latter. When I tell people that my kids draw penises all over their art work they are amazed and always bring up the movie "Superbad." This movie spawned a revolution in the theory of children drawing penises. I never really thought children did this until I became an art teacher. Now on average I see about 2-3 a week.

Now the penises are not always blatant some are in disguise. Like a young gentlemen I had two years ago. This young man had an incredible ability to take any sketchbook assignment and turn it into a wang. This is impressive. Design your own house and it looked like the castle on the old "Little Mermaid" cover (those Disney pervs). Draw yourself in space and it was a rocket with balls. Design your own car and it was the "Ambiguously Gay Duo" mobile. The kid was somewhat of a genius! I did finally turn him into counseling for his penis drawing.

Today was a great one though. I was doing my sketchbook check and picked up an absent students book. I didn't think I would find much work and I was right. I did however find a penis drawn in midair just floating there on the paper. It had everything veins, hair and balls. I felt set up and fell for this evil trick. Did he think I would never find it? The thing is sitting in my room and I do look at them. Now I have to talk to him, which of course will be real comfortable me a woman teacher and a 13 year old boy.

In my findings about 6% of kids are penis drawers. I totally believe it. Some have no idea why they are drawing and I do not plan on bringing it to their attention.

Skirt is Neither Sick Nor Absent

2009-10-11T16:32:00.000-07:00

I had a Bridget Jones moment this week. I really wish it could have been my incredibly hot British boss sexually harassing me, but alas it was my female boss who is overweight. She didn't sexually harass me but did however call me over to her and let me know that my dress was too short. Listen folks, I work around pubescent middle school boys and am not about to go waltzing into school with my boob tube on. What some do not realize is that there are white girls out there with ghetto booty's and I am one of these so called girls. This makes the back of the dress/skirt rise up a bit more in the back thus making it look as if my dress/skirt is too short. I trotted my happy self over to her as she mouthed to me that my dress was too short. To which I replied, "REALLY?" I told her I wouldn't wear it again and secretly planned on it anyway.

The school system I work for is trying their hardest to enforce a dress code policy for teachers. The dress code states that we are not allowed to show distrative or obscene tattoos. There are many other stipulations for pants, dress length, and piercing. This has been quite difficult as I am well very tattooed and apparently like to show a little leg. So instead of the schools enforcing the policy the big guys have stepped up to do it. So basically everyone is scared shit less thinking the big kahunas are going to tell them their teachers look like sluts and bikers. I have tried to be smart about this from the beginning covering up as many of the tats as possible. It has started to grow incredibly hard as I well, get more.

So I guess I just need to keep all of my scandalous clothing for the weekends. This skirt is going to be out sick.

Tippity Tap

2009-09-21T18:53:00.000-07:00

On Monday nights I now go to a special place to release all of my daily frustrations and cares. I have decided to take tap dancing classes once a week this year.

I'm not completely a newbie by any means. At the ripe old age of 3 my parents crammed teenie little tap shoes on my feet and totted me back and forth each week to Daryll Jarvis dance studio, in Toledo. I loved to dance. Thus why athletics were not of any importance to me, when I was a kid. I danced all the way up until my 7th grade year when I started cheerleading (we will save that one for another time).

Consumed by my teen years I forgot all about my love for tap until, I entered a pageant. The River Raisin Festival is in the summer each year, and they hold a queen competition. I thought it would be humorous to enter and do stand-up comedy for my talent. Well, that was until I found out that my mother had "Toddlers in Tiaras" pent up frustrations. Seriously, she was a pageant Nazi and I was forced to think of a real talent. And there was old faithful...tap dancing. I took a few lessons to brush-up, the only problem was the teacher was a hack. So when show time came around it was a disaster of acting/simple moves. Not to mention, that my mother made me rent a red flapper outfit with a huge feather to adorn my head. To this day if anyone brings that event up I get pissed and walk away. Be warned that I may punch you in the face at the mention of it.

I decided recently to put all my past tap tragedies behind me, and put on the ol' tippity taps again. The class is a blast as it's filled with older women and a few younger girls. It's really funny to see women in their 6o's doing irish's across the floor. The best part is that I have a recital in May where, I have to wear a costume. I found out last week we are dancing to a Cake song which I am very excited about. So if you want to come and see me make an ass out of myself again your welcome to. Just make sure to bring me flowers.

Hi Haters

2009-09-08T17:42:00.000-07:00

Today was my first day of school. I am finally living up to my blogging name and tackling the teacher subject, that I have been hiding all summer from. You see, I like many teachers live for my summer and refuse to even think about school during those summer months. When August starts creeping up that's when my back starts to seize up and I think about the impending doom that awaits me on Wilkinson Rd.

I work in the hood or rather a new school that the children have turned into the hood. Everyone walks in and sees the school in it's 10 year old state and says, "wow this place is really nice!" I beg those people to look much closer.

During a regular day of school I see a few of the following things:

1. Parents in slippers
No ladies and gents not kids but parents in the office in their tweety bird slippers trying to get someone to take them seriously.

2. Shuffling children
Our kids enjoy shoes very much and do not like to crease their new kicks. So the children do their shuffle walk down the hall, day in and day out.

3. Graphic Tees
These are t-shirts with sponge bob or another character which typically depict the character as a thug. There is always a lot of gold and sponge bob almost always has a grill.

This brings me to the highlight of my first day back. I walked into a teachers classroom next door to find a child, that is one of our most wanted. He was wearing a shirt with a picture of our smiling president waving and the words, "HI HATERS." I walked out of the room hanging my head in shame.

Don't get me wrong I love my kids, but sometimes you just want to smack some sense.

The Village

2009-08-24T20:08:00.000-07:00

I grew up in a small farm town in lower south east Michigan. In fact I can't even call it a town because that's not what it is. It's a village. What you may ask constitutes a village? This I have wondered most of the time I've lived in the "big city." I never realized it was a "village" until my husband started making fun of the sign, as you traveled into town. Going home is like stepping into a twilight zone episode where everything turns into black and white. Blissfield, has that quaint small town feeling that just seems too good to be true.

The town is made up of 2 stop lights and a river that splits it in half. We were so very fortunate when I was in middle school to get a McDonald's. My dad stops by there everyday to order his favorite, a senior coffee. Since my dad knows every person in town and visits Micky D's everyday, he has become well acquainted with an employee. Her name is Schmitty short for Smith (don't ask me how it's short). My dad will pull up the the drive-thru and yell, "Shimitty give me a senior coffee!" Then he pulls around to be greeted by Schmitty in the flesh. Once he asked her for a 5 gallon bucket for some un-godly reason, and there it was at the window when he pulled around. He sees Schmitty out often with her boyfriend, who is apparently described by my father, as 1/16 the size of Schmitty. There was a wild kiss at the fair, which he caught a eyeful of and swore Schmitty's boyfriend disappeared into her lips. Let's hope that she never decides to spit in his coffee.

We also stopped by my former workplace many times during the week. Frosty Boy was my first real job when I was 14 years old. I'm pretty sure it was illegal for me to work there at that age, but I'm not sure you could call what I did work. I slung ice cream there for about 4 seasons, and had a hell of a time hanging out with my friends. Growing up 15 miles outside of town was never fun when you were young. There was a manager that all the Frosty girls had to work with. Her name is Lavonne, and she seemed like she was 80 years old back then so who knows how old she is now. Lavonne was a smoker, and I imagine still is. She would take breaks out back smoking her Marlboro 100's savoring every minute she didn't have to be with us inside. Lavonne only worked in the mornings, so those were the shifts that you actually had to do work. My favorite thing to do when I worked with Lavonne was make waffle cones. The reason was that when you burned your fingers, Lavonne would say in her smokers voice, "hotsie totsie!" Lavonne really didn't like us because we were little shits. So when I saw her this past week I wasn't surprised that she, I'm pretty sure stripped me from her mind. It only took me saying a few names to dredge back the memories she must have wanted so badly to forget. She said, "yea you's were the ones who used to throw shit all over the ceiling." Oh yea that was us. "You also used to hang out the windows and Lana fell out that one time. Yea I remember you." I guess Lavonne didn't think of me as fondly as I thought of her. It's the memories that count though....right?

It was fun riding around bikes and watching the soy beans blow in the wind while sitting on the back porch. I never thought I would miss home and that environment. I truly do. Thank the Lord I grew up there.

Just a 10 hour drive down I95

2009-08-10T12:57:00.000-07:00

My husband Matt and I frequently drive to Florida. Matt's family hails from the blue waters of the Daytona Beach area. So, as we have now been married for 3 years we have made many voyages down ol' 95.

I feel there is an art to the drive down to the sunshine state. This art all starts with the drugging of our Weiner dog Scarlett (now hold on there PETA worshippers, don't get your panties in a bundle yet). If you know anything about our weiner dog, or weiner dogs in general, you would know that they are high strung. Scarlett exceeds this by 20. On numerous trips we have vacated from the car with talon scratches and hives, because the weiner can't cool her jets. She jumps from lap to lap and can't ever get settled. On our trip up north at Christmas, she managed to plow into Matt's unsipped mocha from the Bucks (Carpool is still finding a little each time). So in order to chill her out, we have opted for a half benadryl on long car rides. This HAS been ok'ed with the vet, and has saved us from tieing the weiner to the back of the car National Lampoons summer vacation style. The benadryl puts Scarlett at about 50% weiner dog mode which is doable.

The weiner dog is getting sleepy
very sleepy...

The first hour and a half of the drive is very exciting, as our taste buds begin to water just over the North Carolina line. We recently discovered on a trip during spring break Cook Out. Cook Out is a North Carolina fast food chain. This is not regular chain though my friends, but rather a venue of deliciousness. The menu consists of anything and everything a southern BBQ should have. I tend to order the combo meal, of a burger and 2 sides. The sides being hush puppies and fries. Another side you can choose is a corn dog, yes you can have a corn dog! Not to mention the 30 different flavors of milk shakes (mint Oreo you have stolen my heart). We have started planning our trips around eating at Cook Out, leaving at 11 AM in order to make the most of consuming gluttonous amounts of food. Please, oh please let me never move to North Carolina, because I would eat there every day. No, really I'm being serious.

This ain't Burger King this is the real shit B

Matt drooling over his chicken sandwich

HUSHPUPPIES!!!

After the shock of fried foods to our system we slowly let the miles of North Carolina slip by is our itis state. Until we are awakened by bright neon and black signs in the distance. These signs start rapidly approaching every few miles. They are signs for none other than South of the Border. If you have never had the pleasure of seeing SOTB you need to go at least once. SOTB has it's own little racist icon named Pedro. Pedro stars in the signs that lead the way up and down 95. The signs consist of clever little sayings a little Hispanic man might say like, "Pedro no shoot z bull" which is classic comedy. Matt and I like to read the signs to one another i our best Pedro voice. Not to toot my own horn or anything, but I must say that mines has gotten pretty good over the years. The signs begin the grown more and more frequent as you approach the main event. And then as you round a bend you see a giant glistening Sombrero in the distance. At mile marker 1 you can exit to SOTB and see this monstrosity of a neon hell. It sits on a few acres boasting anything from gift stores to amusement rides. The problem is I have never seen them working. You want fireworks? They have it. You want an authentic boomerang made in China? They have it. They even have bumper stickers. As wonderful as it is by day it is even more splendorfious by night. Could someone please tell me who pays the light bill?

Oh, Pedro how I love you so...

Brand new signage

The main event!

Now I could go on and on telling you about other interesting 95 traps, but it would take out all the fun for your next road trip. So pack up the car and head south and don't forget to bring some singles for those Cafe Risque girls. We all know that they have to make a living too.

A blog, Mr. Durbin, and an i-phone

2009-08-05T06:46:00.000-07:00

I am not a writer and nor do I desire to be one. I am never going to be Jane Austin (though I could only wish). The fact is that I'm a product of a small town school system. Blissfield Schools taught me very little about punctuation, sentence structure, and really writing in general. I really almost wished I would have paid more attention in Mr. Durbin's grammar class. It was his small attempt to make us "jug blowing, whittling IHOP monkey's" into future writing geniuses. It didn't work, but it was a valiant attempt. This man of men, also sent a young Jenny O into a teary sniffling ball of emotion my freshmen year. Yes, friends it was over an atrocious paper I had written. I was a babbling mess as he berated me in his office. As, I turned to walk out he whispered the words "used me as an example." Oh I just happened to be the field mouse that the hawk got that day. No one messed with the Durbin-a-tor after that. I was never considered a favorite. It was always jocks, like Dicky Robinson. During a lecture he would walk slowly over to Dicky and begin to massage his shoulders. "Ahhhhhhh Dick" he would say, "do you like to read books?" A frantic Dickey was lucky to get out the fact that he liked to read magazines, which kept Durbin happy. He did have some heart though, as I saw the day of my grandfathers funeral. Mr Durbin showed up at St. Peters to pay his respects, where I also recited scripture from Ecclesiastes. Afterward he told me I was a wonderful speaker, folks my heart jumped at this comment. I don't ever see Mr. Durbin anymore, but I'm told he is doing well by my brother. When I am home I still drive by his house ever so slowly and honk the horn for 30-40 seconds. This has always been an Overhulse tradition.

So until I get that i-phone and turn this thing into a photo blog, you will have to continue reading the shit that I write. I only hope and wish I could be like my fellow blogger friends Tess and Val who truly are the bloggiest of the bloggers. It may be an epic fail on my part, as I may forget I have this thing, but what the hell let's give it a go for now.

Overhulse Out